not talking to you breaks my heart. really.
i can feel the pain. literally.
knowing that you're just a buzz away makes me want to cry.
because i cant talk to you. i SHOULD not talk to you.
i must not. i need to not talk to you.
i hope blogging instead of buzzing you help me.
because if i do talk to you right now, everything that i worked,
every pain that i indulged, poof! gone!

I'm hurting. the pain inside me seems unbearable.
because i miss you.
so much.
you have no idea how much, i may not be able to describe you perfectly how much i do,
but one thing i can tell you is
i miss you more than i have ever missed anyone in my life.

iloveyou.

When I read all the things written in here, I was totally surprised to see that almost everything in here is about you.

What I feel for you.

And I figured it isn’t right. It’s not right to love someone this much when it is clear from the very start that there's no possibility for us.

So I’m gonna stop now.

And this time I hope it’s for real.

For my sake I hope to mean it.

because I’m afraid that if I don’t stop now I’m gonna lose myself.

The entire me would be all about you.

If I continue loving you this much, the little love that I still have for myself will soon be vanished.

So goodbye now my love.

You will always be in my heart, but will be kept in the deepest and the most secret part that even I won’t be able to notice .

Please understand that I need to do it.

For my sake.

For your sake.




for the last time, I Love You. deeply.

I never thought that today would end up totally not fine.

I don’t know why it was suddenly ruined.

Today was your day and I know you were totally happy,

But a thought of you really happy without me anything to do with it just made me sad.

I’m selfish I know, and I’m sorry.

And I cried so much. 

Again. 

After weeks of pretending tough,

I cried again.

And I prayed. 

I prayed to God to please take away all the love that I have for you.

Because it hurts. 

A lot. 
It burns.

Which is hard because until now I'm not used of this pain.

I didn't pray for you to love me back because 
I do not want to be unfair to you and it just doesn't feel right 
so I prayed to be free from this unrequited love instead.
But a thought of me not loving you anymore hurts as well. 
It’s as if without this feeling,
 there will be a hole inside me. 
But its better I guess, 
having an empty spot inside me is better 
than live with this pain that kills me everyday.

andIloveyoustill.

Pero no sé por qué tengo que llorar, sólo porque usted dijo adiós.

I read this from your twitter. and suddenly i got jealous of her. 

Of how she affects you so much. 

Of how she's able to hurt you and make you vulnerable.

It’s not that I’m happy that you are hurting. 

In fact it saddens me to learn that while all I want is for you to be happy, you are not, 

because she thinks that you are not good enough for her.

Which I think is not fair. 

Everything is not fair. 

How could she not see how wonderful a person you are?

How could she dump the person that I love so much? 

And how dare you love her when she doesn’t

even love you an inch of what I feel for you? 

Yes, you may be hurting too, but not as I much as I do.

I don't know how to describe what I feel for you.

And it scares me... 

Because I know you are far better than I will ever be. I will never be good enough for you.

your beauty shines within the darkest of places, while I have hardly any beauty to posses. There’s nothing good about me, compare to you.

You give the word perfection a completely different meaning, and since I am so far behind you, i'm afraid you won't even consider me being your friend...

but oh, can't you see how beautiful it could be? You and me? We’re so much alike, but on such different levels. We would get along so well, as we already do. I know I wasn't blessed with nearly half of the talents that you possess, but with God’s help I will continue to develop. I know I wasn't blessed with any beauty, inner or outer, and I certainly wasn't blessed with a perfect mind and body. But I was blessed with a heart that has the capacity to love you.

so maybe by some, small, amazing, beautiful miracle...
you'll feel the same, some day. 

I know you could careless, but I love you. 
I love you more than you will ever know.


imissyou.

where are you?
what are you doing?
are you ok?
have you been sick?
i miss you.
i havent talk to you for a week.
you're all i think about.
arrgghhh.
I MISS YOU. BADLY.


ilove you.