If there was a way to escape this pain, i'd definitely take it. 'cause it's killing me.
But what's killing me more is how I'm addicted to this pain. I'm willing to take more of it just so I can continue wanting you.. Even if its one-way kind of wanting.
The "me-wanting-you-but-you-dont" kind of wanting.

it sucks i know.

i hate that im a collection of paradoxes.

Im a pain junkie.

I'm like a junkie with a limited supply, waiting for the day of reckoning to come to me. The more hits I took now, the harder it would be when my supply ran out.

It hurts knowing I will never be as important to you as you are to me.

Sapiosexual

Sapiosexual is a recently constructed word (neologism) that has come into common usage, particularly on social networking sites where people are self-identifying as sapiosexual. It is a concatenation of the latin root sapio- from sapiens meaning wise or intelligent (itself derived from sapere which means to taste, or rather, to discern) and the latin root -sexualis as it pertains to sexual preferences.

—- ok, now i have to ask, am i a Sapiosexual?

I will never be as thin as I want. I will never look exactly as I want. You will never love me as much as I love you. My skin will never be clear, tan & glowing. My eyelashes will never be dark & curly. My freckles will never go away. The scars I have, they’re here for good. My personality won’t change no matter how hard I try to change it. I will never be the type of girl to get dressed up and perfect as I want. Converse & sweats sound more appealing. I will never have good self esteem & I will always be insecure. I know I may not be perfect, but one thing is for sure … & that is that I would love you and be real to you. I would treat you just how you want to be treated. As imperfect as I may be, ill try to be the perfect me for you.

No one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now.

It's sad when you actually thought you've gotten over someone, and you're doing really fine with your life, but then that someone comes back and you feel that pain over and over again. Only, much painful.

And yes, it's sadder when instead of walking away so you wont have to struggle again, you'll just ignore the sane part of you that tells what's the right thing to do and draw yourself closer to that person making yourself once more vulnerable to the point that no matter how much pain that person inflicts you, you just cant let go.